The Spanx Diet

So my mom bought me some of them Spanx all the cool/fat kids are wearing.  I found it kind of insulting until she said she didn't mean it in a mean way, and told me about hearing about them on NPR.

And I have to say, they made a great addition to the Thanksgiving festivities. I have this really sweet Ralph Lauren Blue Label dress that I got at the outlet for like 10 dollars, and I'd always been hesitant to wear it because although I rock under-eye bags with relative ease, saddle bags are a different case. I probably just invented them in my mind, but every time I'd put that dress (a tightly-fitting one made to look like a long Rugby shirt) on I felt fat as shit, and imagined my hips to look extra-wide. 

So I thought I'd give the Spanx a try and they really delivered.

They make you look less fat and make your ass look nice.

And it's basically like a removable lap band around your stomach, so as long as you don't mind having to piss all the time, it's a great diet trick.

I would wear them all the time, but having some tight black shorts on underneath all your clothes would be quite obtrusive, and if I accidentally saw someone else sporting the look I'd think they had a medical condition or Bridget Jones-syndrome.

Oh shit I hope I don't have Bridget Jones-syndrome. What a whiny bitch. How can you smoke that much and be so fat?

So, Twilight....

...has totally grasped me into it's horribly written hold.

I'm glad GA isn't redneck enough to have a Prop 8

You don't need to be taught that you're gay. You know right off the bat. 

But religions think you need to be taught that being gay is wrong? You have to learn that.

Something is not natural there....

I don't know how I feel about protests being arranged at Mormon temples, especially the one in New York. New York Mormons didn't have much to do with Prop 8 passing, and that is where they practice their (bigoted) religion. In this country we have freedom of religion, which is a good thing, and SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, also a good thing. 

Epic Win

I feel like I just witnessed the "I Have A Dream" speech. 

Barack Obama will change this nation.

I now believe in him.

This is what we need. 

I'm glad Sarah Palin is on her way to sinking back into obscurity. 

TASTE MY PAIN, BITCH.

I'd like to know what Goodwill she's "donating" all her clothes too. What a rogue. 

I'd also like to know who designed Michelle Obama's dress she wore tonight. I'm thinking Philip Lim?

Almost half my life was spent during the worst presidency in history. I hope this will be the best.

I hope Bristol Palin is paid an exorbitant sum by a tabloid for her baby pics. 

I'm glad being on SNL didn't boost the Republicans.

I'm glad Nanabama's vote counted.

I'm glad he got Pennsylvania and Ohio.

I'm glad the election's over.

I'm glad I live in America.

I'm glad CNN chose tonight to debut hologram people.

I'm glad Obama referenced Abraham Lincoln. 

I'm glad there was a clear winner. 

I'm glad Facebook showed me people's opinions.

I'm glad Barack Obama exists.

I'm glad the Bush administration is (almost) over. 

I'm glad the president is black.

I'm glad Joe Biden grew up on the streets of where The Office is set. 

I'm glad the Obamas are getting a puppy.

I'm glad Sasha and Malia aren't skanks like the Bush twins.

I'm glad Democrats have taken the lead.

Today is a good day.