Anon's plastic surgery.

"I would gain an extensive [but not heavily unhealthy] amount of weight, and then have liposuction so that there was a lot of extra skin over my stomach area, and have them fold it upward, then sew the skin so that a pouch was created, much like a kangaroo. I would use this pouch to shop lift." 

lolz 4chan.

I got my bike today. From this listing:

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/bik/895889192.html

I was trying to figure out if it was a cool Motobecane from France or an American one from a sketchy website. One thing Google has never told me, but I kind of feel like it's an American one, cause they're made Taiwan and one of the white walls has a Taiwan sticker on it. But I like it. It's charming as shit, although I'm contemplating loosing a bit of that handlebar padding. It seems unnecessary.

If this girl can do it then I can do it.

A month? Srsly?!

I have really been lagging behind in my AP Lang class. You have to do all this dumb message board stuff that bores me to death, but it is supposed to be a substitute for classroom interaction which is the only thing I really miss about traditional school.

So today I was reading the posts, the first one is about introducing yourself and what makes you literate etc. etc. and I wanted to see if my response of "I'm literate because my family is" was at all original (it wasn't) and I came across this dumbass:


Author: Johnson, Nekiala
Subject: Hey
Hey,im Nikki.I am from Fayettville,North Carolina,but now im living in Slidell,Louisiana.Im 15 years old and in the 11th grade.Ive been homeschooled for 9 years.I am enrolled in this class because I would like to further my knowledge in English,Language,Literature..etc.Ever since elementary school,english has been one of my favorite subjects.Im a really good reader and I comprehend pretty well.When it comes to writing,im not so well in that area,but im hoping that by taking this class,it will better my writing skills.My speech is okay even though im a little shy when it comes to speaking in front of an audience.Im a real good listener though.I think perhaps that listening is one of my best qualitys in english besides reading.Im hoping I do really well in this class!=)



UHHHHH. You can tell this person has never written a real essay in her life. I think her email address "momof4savedkids@aol.com" speaks for itself.

Being mean motivates me. What can I say?

Under the shadow of your family tree

So TV On The Radio and I have quite a special relationship. When I was first exposed to their album, "Return to Cookie Mountain" (Jan/Feb of last year) I was druuunkk all the time, every weekend. It seemed like every weekend one of my friends was having their birthday somewhere, and "I Was A Lover" and "Wolf Like Me" were staples at all the festivities. At one of the parties I got so drunk I got up, pulled down my pants, pissed on the floor, zipped my jeans back up (I was all about my one pair of Seven For All Mankind's back then) and promptly passed out again. 

Needless to say I LOVE TV On The Radio and all the emotions and memories it evokes. So I am reading Rolling Stone and it is reviewing singles everyone should get, and one off the new TVotR is up! I quickly search my known music blogs and one has their new album up already (it isn't officially out yet, oops), and I I have listened to it nine times in the past 48 hours, which is a lot for me, because I get bored of music quickly. 

My favorite tracks so far have gotta be:

"Golden Age" - the one recommended by Rolling Stone, quite danceable

"Family Tree" - so good, one of those songs that could feel personal to anyone, might be my fave

"Love Dog" - classic TVotR, from the melancholy lyrics with an amazing backgrounds and ubiquitous 'whooos'

"Halfway Home" - they know their fucking openings

I know I say I like fashion and movies, but music seems easier to explain. And I'm even too lazy to watch highlights of Fashion Week.

Made

Homemade vs. handmade.

The store I work in has a lot of straight up shit touted as "handmade". Handmade. Handblown. It's all supposed to impress you. I would really call it "homemade", because some of it is pure shit.

How come then, hand made is supposed to be good, whereas home made groups stuff into the shitty category? 

I immediately think of Halloween costumes when searching for examples. When I was 6 or 7, ever the innovator, I wanted to be a princess. I know. Lame. But still. We went to the halloween stores and looked at the flammable plastic pink princess costumes and my mom decided they were all too shitty, and there were no purple ones anyway, so she told me she was making one. Now of course my mom is a pretty bomb ass seamstress, she could do couture, so the costume was hot as shit, with beading and sparkle, and made from leftover silk she had lying around, hiding the lining, which was made from a sweatsuit. (Halloween is cold here.) I would classify this costume, with its poufed sleeves and decent material, into the "handcrafted" or "handmade" not "homemade". 

I picture a "homemade" costume to be a bit  more half-assed. A sheet over your head turning you into a ghost, a la Charlie Brown. 

At the store where I work, there is a princess hat that I would group into the half-assed category it belongs in. It's pink polyester, one of those coney looking things. It has a shitty veil that is really not princess quality at all, some pre-made beading you can buy at JoAnn fabrics at the top, and purple marabou trim. Oh yeah, heres the part that makes it shitty looking, in pink glitter puffy paint it says "pink princess". I think it might even be nail polish. Anyway today some cheap lowballing bitch comes in and wants to buy it. My boss says it shoulda been like 60 dollars (because of it's handmade-ness) which is retarded, but then she said the lady could have it for 20, which is way more then you'd pay for it if you just went to Claire's or something, but it was decent enough. The lady looks flabbergasted. She thought that since she was looking for dress up clothes for a two-year old everything should be like 6 dollars, tops. The worst part is she looked like she was too much of a bitch to ever step foot in a Goodwill which was even more annoying (hahaha I kept typing Annyong, AD anyone?) to me, because that's where her prices would fly. Ugh I really feel like it's bitches like her that keep me from wanting to ever have my own store. 

But anyway. That dumb princess hat was not handmade, it was homemade. 

Effing Ew

My aunt just went to go take a shit in the hall bathroom and brought some tortilla chips and the latest issue of Marie Claire. 

She didn't even close the door gosh. 

Then when she came out she just threw the Marie Claire back on the coffee table and told me about her new tenant. 

Ew. 

I'm too lazy to even write more. 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...

I am pretty sure my mother is battling two addictions. Food and shopping. 

Me. Just the shopping.

All I can think about

Is my effing Schwinn Cruiser. 

The whole time I was in Michigan it was like God was throwing the most badass bikes in my face and laughing. My bike needs a replacement. Preferably a cute one.