The Spanx Diet

So my mom bought me some of them Spanx all the cool/fat kids are wearing.  I found it kind of insulting until she said she didn't mean it in a mean way, and told me about hearing about them on NPR.

And I have to say, they made a great addition to the Thanksgiving festivities. I have this really sweet Ralph Lauren Blue Label dress that I got at the outlet for like 10 dollars, and I'd always been hesitant to wear it because although I rock under-eye bags with relative ease, saddle bags are a different case. I probably just invented them in my mind, but every time I'd put that dress (a tightly-fitting one made to look like a long Rugby shirt) on I felt fat as shit, and imagined my hips to look extra-wide. 

So I thought I'd give the Spanx a try and they really delivered.

They make you look less fat and make your ass look nice.

And it's basically like a removable lap band around your stomach, so as long as you don't mind having to piss all the time, it's a great diet trick.

I would wear them all the time, but having some tight black shorts on underneath all your clothes would be quite obtrusive, and if I accidentally saw someone else sporting the look I'd think they had a medical condition or Bridget Jones-syndrome.

Oh shit I hope I don't have Bridget Jones-syndrome. What a whiny bitch. How can you smoke that much and be so fat?

So, Twilight....

...has totally grasped me into it's horribly written hold.

I'm glad GA isn't redneck enough to have a Prop 8

You don't need to be taught that you're gay. You know right off the bat. 

But religions think you need to be taught that being gay is wrong? You have to learn that.

Something is not natural there....

I don't know how I feel about protests being arranged at Mormon temples, especially the one in New York. New York Mormons didn't have much to do with Prop 8 passing, and that is where they practice their (bigoted) religion. In this country we have freedom of religion, which is a good thing, and SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, also a good thing. 

Epic Win

I feel like I just witnessed the "I Have A Dream" speech. 

Barack Obama will change this nation.

I now believe in him.

This is what we need. 

I'm glad Sarah Palin is on her way to sinking back into obscurity. 

TASTE MY PAIN, BITCH.

I'd like to know what Goodwill she's "donating" all her clothes too. What a rogue. 

I'd also like to know who designed Michelle Obama's dress she wore tonight. I'm thinking Philip Lim?

Almost half my life was spent during the worst presidency in history. I hope this will be the best.

I hope Bristol Palin is paid an exorbitant sum by a tabloid for her baby pics. 

I'm glad being on SNL didn't boost the Republicans.

I'm glad Nanabama's vote counted.

I'm glad he got Pennsylvania and Ohio.

I'm glad the election's over.

I'm glad I live in America.

I'm glad CNN chose tonight to debut hologram people.

I'm glad Obama referenced Abraham Lincoln. 

I'm glad there was a clear winner. 

I'm glad Facebook showed me people's opinions.

I'm glad Barack Obama exists.

I'm glad the Bush administration is (almost) over. 

I'm glad the president is black.

I'm glad Joe Biden grew up on the streets of where The Office is set. 

I'm glad the Obamas are getting a puppy.

I'm glad Sasha and Malia aren't skanks like the Bush twins.

I'm glad Democrats have taken the lead.

Today is a good day.

Anon's plastic surgery.

"I would gain an extensive [but not heavily unhealthy] amount of weight, and then have liposuction so that there was a lot of extra skin over my stomach area, and have them fold it upward, then sew the skin so that a pouch was created, much like a kangaroo. I would use this pouch to shop lift." 

lolz 4chan.

I got my bike today. From this listing:

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/bik/895889192.html

I was trying to figure out if it was a cool Motobecane from France or an American one from a sketchy website. One thing Google has never told me, but I kind of feel like it's an American one, cause they're made Taiwan and one of the white walls has a Taiwan sticker on it. But I like it. It's charming as shit, although I'm contemplating loosing a bit of that handlebar padding. It seems unnecessary.

If this girl can do it then I can do it.

A month? Srsly?!

I have really been lagging behind in my AP Lang class. You have to do all this dumb message board stuff that bores me to death, but it is supposed to be a substitute for classroom interaction which is the only thing I really miss about traditional school.

So today I was reading the posts, the first one is about introducing yourself and what makes you literate etc. etc. and I wanted to see if my response of "I'm literate because my family is" was at all original (it wasn't) and I came across this dumbass:


Author: Johnson, Nekiala
Subject: Hey
Hey,im Nikki.I am from Fayettville,North Carolina,but now im living in Slidell,Louisiana.Im 15 years old and in the 11th grade.Ive been homeschooled for 9 years.I am enrolled in this class because I would like to further my knowledge in English,Language,Literature..etc.Ever since elementary school,english has been one of my favorite subjects.Im a really good reader and I comprehend pretty well.When it comes to writing,im not so well in that area,but im hoping that by taking this class,it will better my writing skills.My speech is okay even though im a little shy when it comes to speaking in front of an audience.Im a real good listener though.I think perhaps that listening is one of my best qualitys in english besides reading.Im hoping I do really well in this class!=)



UHHHHH. You can tell this person has never written a real essay in her life. I think her email address "momof4savedkids@aol.com" speaks for itself.

Being mean motivates me. What can I say?

Under the shadow of your family tree

So TV On The Radio and I have quite a special relationship. When I was first exposed to their album, "Return to Cookie Mountain" (Jan/Feb of last year) I was druuunkk all the time, every weekend. It seemed like every weekend one of my friends was having their birthday somewhere, and "I Was A Lover" and "Wolf Like Me" were staples at all the festivities. At one of the parties I got so drunk I got up, pulled down my pants, pissed on the floor, zipped my jeans back up (I was all about my one pair of Seven For All Mankind's back then) and promptly passed out again. 

Needless to say I LOVE TV On The Radio and all the emotions and memories it evokes. So I am reading Rolling Stone and it is reviewing singles everyone should get, and one off the new TVotR is up! I quickly search my known music blogs and one has their new album up already (it isn't officially out yet, oops), and I I have listened to it nine times in the past 48 hours, which is a lot for me, because I get bored of music quickly. 

My favorite tracks so far have gotta be:

"Golden Age" - the one recommended by Rolling Stone, quite danceable

"Family Tree" - so good, one of those songs that could feel personal to anyone, might be my fave

"Love Dog" - classic TVotR, from the melancholy lyrics with an amazing backgrounds and ubiquitous 'whooos'

"Halfway Home" - they know their fucking openings

I know I say I like fashion and movies, but music seems easier to explain. And I'm even too lazy to watch highlights of Fashion Week.